Poetry annex

Poet Laureate Bishop Manfred Collinwood lets fly like bird on wing with his recent poem dealing with the noblest of our avian bedfellows, the Swan. This poem was recently read at the 'East Riding Women against Chimp Study Society' and was greeted with barely contained indifference all round.

A treatise on the noble Swan

Gliding like be-feathered yacht ‘cross the silk of the river,
Your grace and such elegance bring forth such a shiver.
Your sleek lines, your poise, your silhouette so serene,
‘Tis shame such fine fare can only be ate by the Queen.

But how does she consume thee, oh schooner so sublime?
Like a feathery margarita with salt and with lime?

Are you butchered and hung, fried lightly with capers?
Are you stuffed with such vigour it gives women the vapours?

Are you tossed and reformed, garnished heavy with cumin?
‘Tis the uncertainty of not-knowing that keeps me so fumin’

Are you plucked and slit open, your gizzards torn free,
Are you spatchcocked and seasoned set to cook on gas mark 3?

Are you riddled with cloves and baked long in sweet honey?
Are you basted with fine butters so your juices stay runny?

Are you marinated in wines formed from the finest of stock?
Are you roasted and choked on like any old cock?

Oh how does she eat you, maestro of birds marine?
‘Tis none of our business! God save the Queen!